Pretend
by animedude16
Summary: Temari was the type of person who would do anything for her brothers. If you were lucky enough to enter her small circle of close friends, it was safe to assume she would do anything you asked. But this? She's never been put in a situation like this before. "I need you to pretend to be my girlfriend." Say what?
1. Chapter 1

**Got this idea from something I saw on social media. It sorta said "does anyone need a fake girlfriend for the holidays? I'm down just feed me." And of course my brain decides to make a story out of this *sigh* honestly I tried and failed to ignore the urge to write this.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters; probably a good thing since social media feeds my inspiration**

Temari was a strong, beautiful, and independent woman. She walked with confidence and generally had an aura that screamed 'don't fuck with me.' She learned long ago not to look down on people based on their outward appearance.

She was still in college at the time and could beat anyone at a game of chess. She bloated quiet arrogantly and was generally cold and cruel. One day her opponent was a scrawny kid she'd seen around the library always sleeping. He was a typical slacker and Temari never spared him a second glance.

He approached her and challenged her to a game. He said that "she seemed like someone who could stand to play him for more than 10 minutes."

Temari was downright insulted and infuriated. He set up the game and allowed her the first move. Temari wanted nothing more than to wipe that stupid smirk off his face and smash his head onto the chess table.

Taking a deep breath through her nose and exhaling she moved her first pawn.

At the time she didn't realize who exactly she was playing against. She also didn't notice the small crowd that gathered around their table. The kid never spoke and just stared at the board. He looked very bored and uninterested at the game before him. Temari knew he was messing with her head. She wasn't one to be intimidated, that was her job. Still she moved all her pieces in silence and planned 10 moves ahead.

She would capture some of his pieces and he did the same. Honestly she didn't think much time had passed when he placed down his final piece and said "check mate."

Temari stared at the table completely dumbfounded. He won? She couldn't believe her eyes. Where had she gone wrong?

He then had the audacity to point out her faulty moves and even went so far as to move her pieces in what were "better strategies." He stood up from his chair and gave her that stupid smug look again.

"The game lasted 12 minutes. Better than I expected."

Then the bastard walked away!

Temari never felt more anger towards a single person in her entire life.

Instead of wallowing in her defeat Temari was determined to beat him. She stayed at the table and played against herself. The following day she hunted the poor sucker down as though he was a deer and she the lion. She found him lounging on the grass napping under a shady tree.

She kicked his shin and demanded another match.

The kid hissed in pain and refused. Temari's eyes flared in pure hatred and she dragged the kid toward the nearest chess table. It was quite a sight as nearby students watched a woman drag a poor unsuspecting kid across campus.

They sat down for another match and he won. Again.

Temari fumed and placed at the pieces back to their original spot. The kid sighed heavily and played again. This continued for another hour with Temari losing each round. By the end the kid threw up his hands and pleaded to be let go.

"Good god woman it's just a game. Stop being so troublesome and let me leave."

"Not until I can beat you!"

"Nothing different is going to happen. You're too impatient and I can see all the moves you plan in your head."

"If you make a move to leave I will kick your sorry ass." She pointed a Knight at him threateningly.

"Has anyone ever told you that you're a sore loser?" The kid slouched against the chair.

Temari gave him a nasty look.

"Look we'll play again another other day. Just let me go. I need to eat." He tried to negotiate his freedom.

"No."

"Don't you have anything better to do? A boyfriend? Friends? Anything?" The kid cried out in exasperation.

Temari said nothing as she moved her piece.

The kid rubbed his face wearily. He was going to be here all day.

After losing two more rounds Temari hastily stood up. There was so much she wanted to say but couldn't. Her pride was in shreds. She couldn't even look him in the eye. She ran back to her dorm.

After that incident she needed time to rethink. She didn't hunt down the poor kid. She went back to studying for her classes. On her breaks she would play chess on her laptop and was determine to find a strategy that would beat that smart ass. After 2 weeks she was ready to face him again.

She went out to find him. He was at the food court with a fat guy and a blonde Barbie looking girl. That didn't stop her from strolling up to him and demanding another game.

"Woman you couldn't be more troublesome if you tired."

"Meet me where we had our last game. If you don't show up there will be hell to pay."

The kid didn't have time to refuse or try to talk her out of it. Temari promptly walked away and went to wait at the chess table. She mentally went over her battle plan and vowed to win. The kid seemed smart enough to heed her warning. He walked slowly over to the table with his hands shoved inside his pant pockets.

"Let's just get this over with."

The game begun.

Temari knew the kid spoke some truth when he called her impatient. It was a trait she was still trying to work out. She needed to keep a level head and analyze the game. If she overlooked even a small step he would find a way to exploit it.

In the beginning the kid was again bored and uninterested. As the time dragged on and he noticed Temari's different strategy he slowly gained interest. The game continued on and each player was very into the game.

They were well pass an hour into the game and it almost seemed like a stalemate. Temari bit her lip as she stared at the board. There were about six different moves that she could see for the kid to make. Depending on what he chose he would lose a valuable piece. He just had to make the right sacrifice.

The kid knew this as well. He furrowed his brows and almost glared at the board. Temari could feel her heart bound and her legs tense. It was a simple game of chess that somehow ended up being something much more.

The kid eventually closed his eyes and brought both this hands together, forming an O shape. Temari gave him a quizzical look.

"You ok kid?"

He said nothing.

Temari was tempted to give him a quick shake. Did she break his brain? Maybe he didn't get a chance to eat and his brain was deprived of glucose? Holy crap she was going to give this kid brain damage.

His eyes flew open and he moved his piece.

Temari almost jumped back in her seat at the sudden movement. She guessed that he was alive and well. She returned her focus to the game at hand. She wasn't sure why he made the move he did but she wouldn't back down now. She was too close to winning to let it all go to waste now.

She moved her piece.

After a total of an hour and twelve minutes the kid captured her king. He won.

Temari didn't feel blind fury this time around. They both played a good game. She couldn't help but feel disappointment though. Still no one was ever able to get such a rise out of her than this guy. They probably only spoken a total of 50 words to each other.

At the very least she was going to leave an impression.

"Don't worry I'm not going to harass you over this anymore. Despite losing I still beat my personal best."

The kid shrugged "I haven't had a decent opponent push me into a corner like that in a while."

Temari stood up "I'm impressed you put up with my abuse. See ya around kid."

The kid waved half heartily and Temari walked back to her dorm.

She still wasn't very happy with the outcome but she could live. She went about her normal routine until one day she found the kid standing outside her dorm room with takeout. He held up a box "the way I see it you owe me but I needed an excuse to hide from a nosy friend."

Temari blinked.

"Hi?"

"I'm Shikamaru. We didn't really introduce ourselves since you were basically burying me alive under chess pieces."

Temari smirked "if I'm supposed to be your alibi I suggest being nicer."

"Troublesome woman."

"It's Temari not troublesome woman."

He shrugged "so can I hide here or what?"

Temari rolled her eyes "charming."

She still opened her door and let him in.

That was over a year ago and the two were very much close friends. She graduated with high grades and still wasn't sure if she wanted to go to grad school, go back to Suna, or even if she wanted to stay in Konoha to work. Her brothers supported whatever decision she made. Secretly they wanted her to come home of course.

Still after she graduated she decided to enter the workforce. Her visa allowed her to work for a year before she would either have her employers agree to sponsor her or go back home. She was currently working for a tech company.

Shikamaru still attended university and was in his third year.

They would still meet up to play a round of chess or just hang out.

Today was a day Shikamaru needed mental stimulation and came over to Temari place for a game of chess. He brought his own board and pieces. Both sat on the couch with the game between them. Temari asked how classes were going as they played.

"Troublesome and tiresome."

"Nothing new then."

Shikamaru moved a piece then looked up, "made a decision yet?"

Temari shrugged "no. Just doesn't seem like anything is holding me here, you know?"

Shikamaru frowned "I thought you liked your job."

"I do but my brothers are back home."

He captured her Knight. "That can't be the only reason."

"No but it's a big part." She captured his Bishop.

They played the rest of the game in silence. Afterwards Shikamaru put away the game but continued to lounge around on the couch. Temari went to the kitchen to bring some chips to snack on.

Grabbing a chip Shikamaru popped it in his mouth. "Any plans for Thanksgiving?"

"Work only gives me the day off so I can't go back home."

"You're more than welcomed to come to my place."

"Is that you or your mother inviting me?" Temari teased

"You know my mother doesn't invite, it's a demand." He chuckled

Temari laughed "I'll be sure to stop by for a bit."

Shikamaru took his leave a few hours later. If it were up to him he would have stayed longer but Temari kicked him out. She knew he had homework he was slacking on. She also had an early day of work.

She went on the rest of her week like normal. Thanksgiving was only two days away and she was leaning on having dinner at the Nara household. She needed to figure out what she should bring. Perhaps a dessert?

She was scanning the internet for easy desserts to prepare when a knock at the door startled her. She placed her laptop on the couch and stood up. She looked through the peep hole on her door and saw Shikamaru standing there.

She unlocked the door and let him in.

He quickly made himself comfortable on the couch. He took a peak on what was on her computer screen.

"Making me cookies?"

"Not for you," Temari picked up her laptop to sit on the couch. "I'm making them for your parents."

Shikamaru rolled his eyes "you could bring dog treats and my parents would eat them."

Temari gave him an annoyed look. "What are you doing here again?"

"Bored."

"Don't you have anything better to do? A Boyfriend? Friends? Anything?" Temari recited word for word what he asked her long ago.

Shikamaru smiled "troublesome woman."

"But seriously what has you here in my humble abode?"

Shikamaru began to fidget "I need a favor."

"Sure what is it?" Temari didn't blink an eye at the request. Her main focus still rested on her laptop screen.

"I need you to pretend to be my girlfriend for Thanksgiving."

Temari didn't answer right away. It took her brain a few moments to register what came out of his mouth. Temari was the type of person who would do anything for her brothers. She would kill for them as well as die for them. If you were lucky enough to enter her small circle of close friends, it was safe to assume she would do anything you asked.

But this?

She's never been put in a situation like this before.

She looked up from her screen and turned to the quivering boy next to her.

She blinked.

"Huh?"

Shikamaru blushed "you heard me."

She did but that didn't mean she could believe it. "Please tell me you're joking."

He didn't say anything.

"You want to me lie to your parents."

"It's not really lying…"

"What would you call it then? A play?" Temari replied hotly.

He frowned "don't get smart."

"Excuse me for not responding in a way you thought I would." She snapped

Shikamaru sighed heavily "look my mom won't get off my back about a girlfriend. She says I'm going to die a lonely old man."

"I for one agree with that."

"I'm not asking for much, just one night of you pretending to like me."

"I like you just fine but lying to your parents? You're mom has hawk like vision. She'll spot this façade from a mile away!"

"Nothing changes except the title."

Temari eyed him warily "I don't know."

"I'll be in your debt." Shikamaru was almost begging.

This was a bad idea and Temari knew this. Yet looking into his pleading eyes she also couldn't say no. Temari groaned "you owe me big for this."

Shikamaru's shoulders sagged in relief and he smiled gratefully. "Thanks for this."

What had she done?

The next day Temari spent most of her afternoon finding a nice outfit to wear for dinner. She went for a classy looking purple dress and black heels. She decided light makeup was now necessary because of Shikamaru's fault. Then she spent the remainder of the night going over how not to explode and tell Yoshino that it was all a lie.

She just had to be a good friend. This is a perfect scenario where she should have just been a bitch and said no. There was no backing out now.

The following day Temari began preparations for the cookies. A simple double chocolate chip recipe she found on the internet. She followed the steps to the very last detail. She put them in the oven to bake and went to set out her outfit while she waited.

It was a good thing she had a handle on her emotions. Otherwise she would be a trembling ball of nerves right about now. She was going to hold this over Shikamaru for years.

Once the cookies were done baking she set them out to cool off. She then began to the process to make herself look lovely. Being a girl could be such a drag somethings.

Shower? Check.

Outfit with light makeup? Check.

Applying the amount of perfume and deodorant to smell nice? Check.

Heels? Check.

Hair down after spending more than 30 minutes managing to tame it? Check.

Cookies? Delicious smelling and ate one before dinner? Double check.

Temari mentally went over everything on her list again. Knowing she had everything she needed she put on her jacket, left her apartment and locked the door, and got into her car. She had nerves of steel. She could survive one night of being Shikamaru's girlfriend.

So long as Yoshino didn't decide to cook them alive. Everything would work out fine.

It was an awesome thing that her deodorant was able to absorb so much sweat.

The drive to the Nara household was calm. There were a lot of people running in and out of stores trying to buy ingredients (aka the turkey) last minute. There was a bit of traffic but nothing too congested. Arriving to Shikamaru's home Temari turned off the car engine. She took grabbed the cookies and confidently walked to the front door.

She ran the door bell and waited to be let in. She could do this. Temari smiled to herself. Why did she think this would be difficult?

Yoshino opened the door a few moments later with a bright smile.

"Hello dear! It's so nice to see you again. Come in."

Temari smiled at the household head. "Hello again Yoshino. Thank you for having me."

"Of course! Tonight is a special night after all. We're all going to meet the poor soul who agreed to date my son!"

It took all of her willpower not to laugh awkwardly. She bit the inside of her cheek to keep a creepy smile from forming. Oh god this woman was going to butcher them alive.

"Is that so?" Temari went with cool and calm approach. She shrugged off her jacket and Yoshino placed in a nearby closet.

"Shikamaru is currently up in his room. He's no doubt trying to look presentable for the girl."

Oh this was a terrible idea now that she was here. Temari held out the box of cookies as a distraction. "I brought some dessert."

"That's very thoughtful," Yoshino took the box with a smile. She gestured for Temari to follow her. The older woman led her to the living room where her husband, Shikaku, was watching a football game on TV.

"You look lovey my girl."

"Thank you sir. You look handsome yourself."

Shikaku laughed "this old man still handsome? Well that must be why my dear wife is still married to me."

"Trust me dear Temari is only being polite."

Shikaku placed a hand over his heart. "You wound me love."

Yoshino laughed lightly. "Temari take a seat. I'm going to see how the turkey is doing."

"Do you need any help?"

"Nonsense you're a guest. Sit, dinner should be ready soon."

Temari took a seat on the couch while Shikaku was lounging on a love seat.

"How are your brothers?"

"They're doing well."

"That's good to hear. Thank you for coming. I know it makes my wife happy to see you."

Temari smiled gently "I'm happy to be here."

"I'm glad to hear that. Now before Shikamaru comes down tell me…do you know this girlfriend of his?"

Crap now what?

Temari tried not to fidget or take too long to answer. She went with the first thing that came to mind. "I guess I know her pretty well."

"Is that so? Hmm this is the first I'm hearing of any girl in his life that isn't you or Ino."

"It caught me by surprise too." Oh the lies.

"I'm very intrigued."

Luckily Temari was saved from the conversation when Shikamaru entered the living room. He was wearing a dark blue dress shirt and nice pants. It seems he did put in the extra effort to look nice. He took a seat next to Temari.

"Glad you could make it."

"I came for your mother's cooking."

"Tell us son. When is your girlfriend arriving?"

Temari held her breath. The moment of truth.

"Dad," Shikamaru sighed heavily.

"It's a simple question." Shikaku smiled innocently.

"Dad," Shikamaru gave his father a look. To help sell the image he placed his hand on Temari's knee.

Shikaku gave the two young adults a long hard look. Then he began to laugh wholeheartedly.

"Be truthful son. Did you perform some voodoo magic to get her to agree to go out with you?" Shikaku continued to laugh.

Shikamaru flushed cherry red. He covered his face with his free hand. His other gripped onto Temari's knee like a life line. Temari patted his back sympathetically. Shikaku was laughing like a jolly Santa Claus.

Yoshino emerged from the kitchen to find her husband laughing hysterically. "What is going on in here?"

Shikaku shook his head. Calming down from laughing he stood. "Nothing love. I believe dinner is ready?"

"Yes but we must wait for Shikamaru's date."

Shikaku walked toward his wife and wrapped an arm around her. "We don't have to wait. She's already here."

"She's what? Wait a minute. Temari?" Yoshino tried to turn around in her husband's hold. "It's Temari!?"

Shikaku continued to pull his wife along while chuckling.

Temari snickered "well that went well."

"My mother is not done with us."

"Just remember this was your idea." Temari stood up "come on I'm starving."

"Can't we just stay here?"

"Shikamaru Nara get your ass in here now!"

"Do you really want to keep your mother waiting?" Temari held out her hand with a teasing grin.

Shikamaru sighed and mumbled a "troublesome" under his breath. He still accepted her hand and held it as both made walked to the dinner table. Shikaku was already sitting down giggling like a school girl. Yoshino was standing next to the table where all the delicious food was waiting.

"I demand an explanation."

"Mom-"

"Temari dear please seat while I deal with my son."

Temari winked at Shikamaru and took a seat. Shikamaru slouched "come on mom."

"I will say this once more. An explanation. Now."

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "This is why I didn't say anything."

"You can hardly blame us son." Shikaku poured himself and Temari red wine.

"I'm sorry for not telling you sooner."

"No you're not." Yoshino accused.

Pause.

"Ok I'm not entirely sorry."

Yoshino was still fuming but she didn't want to continue being rude in front of her future daughter in law. "Sit down and be on your best behavior."

"Yes mom."

Shikamaru took his next to Temari. He could feel Temari holding back her laughter at his pain. Yoshino took her seat next to her husband. "Excuse the yelling Temari. I should have known my son would cause some sort of drama."

Shikamaru bit his tongue. Temari laughed "I tried to tell him but he wouldn't listen."

He glared at her. She was trying to make him the bad guy? Well two could play that game.

"I seem to remember someone being too nervous about telling my parents."

Temari shrugged nonchalantly "I was worried your parents wouldn't believe us. That they might think it was some sort of prank."

What a little lying conniving-

"Shikamaru Nara you better be a much better boyfriend than what I'm seeing now." Yoshino glared at her son heatedly.

"She's too hard to please. If anything I work too hard."

Temari almost spit out her wine. Too hard to please!?

"E-Excuse me?"

Shikaku shook his head, "oh son you just yourself into an 8 feet hole."

"Have I taught you nothing?" Yoshino sighed.

Why was he the bad guy?

Temari discreetly smacked his leg under the table. He retaliated by pinching her thigh. Unaware of the fight between the two young adults Yoshino turned to her husband.

"I thought we raised him to be a man?"

"At least he found a woman who will kick him into shape."

Yoshino suddenly smiled "I always hoped this would happen."

"Now we just have to make sure he doesn't lose her."

"He better not! I am already too emotionally invested in their future children."

Shikaku wisely didn't comment but secretly agreed.

Yoshino then began to place food on her plate. Shikaku followed her lead. Shikamaru and Temari ceased their fighting once they saw the older couple begin to eat the delicious food. Temari gave Shikamaru a glare that said "this isn't over."

He sighed at his misfortune.

The small family easily forgot about the earlier spat and happily ate the food. The alcohol helped with the talking and teasing that filled the warm atmosphere. Everyone was full beyond comprehension. That didn't stop anyone from eating a cookie or three.

"My dear these are delicious." Yoshino happily munched on her third cookie.

"The internet is a wonderful place." Temari laughed

"I know you're working long hours at your job. Do you find time to cook for yourself?" Shikaku asked.

"She forgets to eat more often than not." Shikamaru grabbed his fourth cookie.

"I do not."

"Honestly if it weren't for me I'm not sure you would eat dinner."

"It's the other way around. He's always complaining when I don't have food."

"You don't eat woman."

"I eat just fine," Temari glared at him.

"My son is just too embarrassed to admit he likes your cooking." Shikaku winked at his only child.

Shikamaru fought off a blush "I do not."

Temari rolled her eyes "I also disagree."

"Men so prideful," Yoshino gave her husband an annoyed look.

"We're here to tease our son not me." Shikaku held up his arms in defense.

"I think we can manage to tease all the people in this room." Yoshino took a sip of her wine. She turned her attention back to the blonde beauty. "Tell me Temari, and I would appreciate an honest answer. How did my son ask you out?"

Luckily for Temari the wine was able to turn off her nerves. She didn't squirm or sweat under Yoshino's piercing gaze. The down side was her brain was slower to respond. Not to mention she and Shikamaru didn't go over what their story would be.

Shit.

Onto plan B.

"Shikamaru wanted to share the story. He was afraid that I would exaggerate too much." Was throwing Shikamaru under the bus a cowardly move? Yes. Did she care? Of course not, it was his idea so he could take the heat for all this.

Shikamaru swore under his breath. Both his parents gave him expecting looks.

Deciding he couldn't weasel out of this one Shikamaru went with the truth.

"The guys had dragged me to a frat party. I stayed for maybe an hour before I got annoyed and left. I went to the one place they would all be too scared to come get me."

Temari clicked her tongue annoyed. "I don't see why your friends are afraid of me."

Shikamaru gave her a knowing look. "Really?"

"That was one time. You're friends are just wimps."

Yoshino and Shikaku shared confused looks.

"Anyway I knew I would be safe there so I left."

"Those parties start late and end until the morning. You went to Temari's apartment late at night when she has work in the morning?" Yoshino gave her son a disapproving look.

"I didn't mind. I was up working anyway." Temari figured she would help ease his parents off his back. She did agree to go along with the charade.

Shikamaru kept his gaze on his drink as he continued the story. "She was working on her laptop on the couch and I was lying on the floor. We were talking about random stuff. As it got later she put down her work and just stayed up talking with me."

Temari remember that night. He was surprisingly awake while she grew drowsy. They talked about food, family, movies, and other random topics. They even talked about past boy/girlfriends or lack of in Shikamaru's case. Normally Temari wasn't one to share about her love life but her sleepy mind didn't filter her mouth.

Temari turned to look at Shikamaru's blushing face. It must have been around two a.m. when Temari retreated to her room and gave Shikamaru permission to sleep over if he wanted. Nothing happened after that. So where was he going with the story?

"Tired minds equal loose lips so before she went off to sleep I asked if she wouldn't mind being my first real girlfriend. She kinda just said ya and went to bed. And well that's it." Shikamaru finished lamely. He didn't dare look in Temari's direction. His face was extremely warm and felt it grow hotter as he could feel Temari's heavy gaze.

"Taking advantage of a sleep deprived woman. Well I suppose you wouldn't have gotten the courage to ask her with a clear mind." Shikaku joked.

"Not exactly romantic but I still wish you told us sooner." Yoshino pouted.

When Shikamaru asked Temari if she could be his pretend girlfriend she thought it was a favor from a friend. But after hearing his version of that night, is that what he wanted to say? Did he actually have feelings for her? Was this some sort of reverse psychology crap to get her to agree to date him?

Suddenly Temari felted played.

She stood up "thank you for the meal but it's getting late. I still have work tomorrow and need to get some stuff done."

Both Yoshino and Shikaku were displeased. They tried to convince her to stay. She did drink some wine and they pleaded she at least stay for another hour to let the alcohol run its course. Temari waved off their concern and said she wasn't drunk or even tipsy. She smiled and hugged her hosts and went to retrieve her coat.

Shikamaru followed her to the door.

"I'm-"

"Don't think for a second that I'm ok with this." She didn't meet his gaze, she couldn't. Her mind was racing with too many thoughts. "It would be best for both of us if you didn't come over for a while."

"Just let me explain." Shikamaru begged.

Temari didn't say anything and stepped out his home. She didn't turn around or glance in his direction. She got in her car, started the engine, and drove away calmly.

She should have just said no.

 **I know I'm a terrible person but I couldn't help myself! I swear there will just be one more chapter after this. I'm having painful writer's block for my other stories. Hopefully getting this out of my head will make room for ideas for my other neglected stories.**

 **Thanks everyone and review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**You guys are awesome :3 I received a lot of email notifications for this story. I think this story got a lot of love in such a short time frame. Well I'm glad you guys liked it so much! As promised here is the final chapter. Enjoy!**

After Thanksgiving Temari returned to her apartment and sat in the dark. She tried to push the events of dinner to the back of her mind. She tried and failed to get some decent sleep. The next day at work she was basically on autopilot. Her coworkers asked if she was ok, they pointed out that she seemed stressed.

Temari groaned and let her head fall on her desk. She turned towards her nearest coworker, Konan. "I got a sorta love confession last night."

"Let me guess, it was that bratty smart kid that's always at your place?"

Temari didn't reply.

Konan glanced at the red head Karin that stood next to her. "Awkward."

Karin rolled her eyes "so he said he liked you, so what?"

"I was pretending to be his girlfriend when he told his parents how we started 'dating'."

Konan and Karin abandoned their work and eagerly leaned in. "Details we need all the details."

Temari gave them the short version about what happened. Konan patted Temari's head in pity. "That's the lamest love confession ever. That's coming from a girl who's dating an emotional constipated guy."

Karin snorted "that's putting it lightly."

"You absolutely have no room to talk. You and your man are always yelling about one thing or another."

"For the last time I'm not dating that loser!"

Temari sighed heavily and sat up. "You know I might have considered dating the kid if he was just honest with me."

"That was a pretty sneaky way of throwing in his real feelings." Konan agreed.

Karin frantically pushed Konan away and toward their desks. "Shit boss is coming!"

All three girls quickly started pushing keys on the computer and clinking randomly on the mouse. The boss walked by and bid everyone good morning. Once he was out of sight the girls slouched in their chairs.

Karin made eye contact with Temari. "So what are you going to do?"

"I told him to not come over. I need time to myself."

"Poor kid," Konan shook her head. "Well we're here if you need anything."

"You just want the dirty details."

"We've already established that this relationship," Konan gestured to all three women, "is based on nothing but dirty secrets."

Temari cracked a smile. At least she could get through work feeling a little better.

The next few days Temari went on with her life. She went to work, chatted with her nosy coworkers, and when they were very persistent would go out for drinks with them. At first it slightly weird not having Shikamaru at her place. She tried not thinking too much on that subject. She found that if she ignored the nagging part of her brain she could enjoy the rest of her day.

It was her day off and Temari was spending it lounging around in her blue pajama pants that had white llamas wearing a pink scarf scattered all over and tank top while binge watching TV shows. It was the rare moments when she didn't have to wear decent clothes because Shikamaru wasn't there. This meant she didn't have on a bra and if she really wanted didn't need underwear. It also meant that she could eat an entire bag of chips she bought the previous day.

Elbow deep in her chips Temari happily munched away as the main hero tried to catch the killer. She was going to watch her sixth episode when knocking interrupted the show. Temari frowned and stared at her door. Who on earth could that be?

"Open the door," the knocking turned to banging "we have a lot to talk about!"

Temari groaned. This was a very unwelcomed guest.

"I heard that!"

Temari was tempted to stay quiet and hoped Ino would go away. But by the tone of her voice she didn't plan on leaving until she came to say what she needed too. So very unwillingly Temari rose from her couch and walked extremely slowly to unlock her door.

"What?"

Ino rolled her eyes. "Nice to see you too."

"Can't say the same I'm afraid."

"Oh cry me a river woman. Are you gonna let me in or what?" Ino crossed her arms. "It's cold out here."

Once again Temari was tempted to shut the door. Her precious warmth from the heater was escaping. Ino knew this and gave her a look that said "try me."

"Make it quick. It's my day off."

Ino walked into the apartment and made a face. "This is what you've been doing all day?"

Ok so Temari was elbow deep in chips, knee high in ice cream, and buried in take out from various restaurants throughout the week. "I take advantage when I literally have nothing to do." Temari returned to sitting on the couch and ate a handful of chips.

Ino shrugged off her coat and unwound her scarf. She set them neatly on the arm of the couch and sat down elegantly on the other side of the couch. The side of the couch that was not occupied with food or a woman that sat like a man with her legs spread wide open. Temari on the other hand happily slurped some noodles.

Ino sighed. "You look like a girl version of Choji."

Temari shrugged "again it's my day off. Talk."

"You know why I'm here."

"I can just throw you out."

"You're impossible," Ino resisted the urge to slap her forehead. "Was he an idiot for what he did? Of course. Do you have every right to be upset? Yes. But cut him a little slack. He's depressed that you still haven't talk to him."

"It hasn't been that long." Temari put down the noodles and picked up some fries.

"I had to convince him to not buy you a puppy."

And now her appetite was ruined.

"You can't be serious."

"I may be many things but I don't lie."

Temari tilted her head and looked at the younger woman's eyes. Ino didn't flinch or blink. Temari pushed away her food. All she wanted was a nice day off and gorge herself with food. Was that too much to ask for?

"What do you want me to do?"

"Just call him." Ino rolled her eyes. "He'll be less depressed and his parents can stop hounding me about you."

How could she forget about his parents!

"W-What have they said?" Temari asked a bit shyly.

Ino clicked her tongue in annoyance. "Wouldn't you like to know."

Temari glared.

Ino wasn't fazed "Shikamaru didn't know how else to tell you. Anytime he tried to ask you out, you took it as a friend."

"He has not-"

"He's asked plenty!"

Temari scowled "look I think I would know when someone asked me out."

"Not coming from a guy who almost bought you a puppy!" Ino cried frustrated.

"Fine since you seem to know everything. Give me an example." Temari began to get agitated.

"I could recite a list a mile long but that wouldn't help understand his brain. If you actually used your brain you would see where he's coming from!"

Temari was officially ticked off.

"That's it I'm done. Get out."

"You're serious?" Ino frowned

"Get out."

"Fine," Ino huffed. She stood up and put on her coat and scarf. "Please don't get up your highness. I'll let myself out."

Ino gave Temari once last look, shook her head, and walked out the door.

Temari's foul mood wouldn't be resolved unless she got out the house. She grabbed her phone and sent a group message to Konan and Karin.

" _Royally pissed need drinks. Now."_

Konan quickly responded _"meet in usual bar. 20 minutes."_

Temari didn't bother to wait for Karin's reply. She went to her room to get out of her pajamas and into something well nicer. Not entirely in the mood for a dress or anything fancy Temari went for nice jeans and a black sleeveless blouse. Some killer high heels and grabbing her purse with phone, Temari was ready to go.

She put on her coat and left her apartment still fuming at Ino's words.

Temari arrived at the bar in a timely fashion. It wasn't packed which she was thankful for. She made her way over to the counter and hastily got the bartender's attention. She asked for a shot of tequila.

That's how Konan and Karin found her. Sitting at the bar throwing back a shot of white tequila.

"Shit it must be bad." Konan sat next to her friend and waved the bartender down. "Hey buddy we're gonna need more alcohol!"

Karin took the other empty seat next to Temari. "Alight what happened now?"

Temari angrily slammed the shot glass down. "His stupid blonde Barbie friend came for a visit."

Karin took the glass away from the fuming dirty blonde. "Trying to get you back together with him?"

"She said that he's been trying to ask me out for ages. You don't think I wouldn't notice something like that?!"

Konan passed out three more shots between the girls. "Bottoms up ladies."

All three threw back the drink and Karin cringed.

"Good god woman what the hell was that?"

Konan smiled with an evil twinkle in her eye. "You don't want to know. We're here to help Temari drink her sorrows away!"

"You've gotten a head start at home." Temari pointed out.

"Bartender more shots!"

Karin adjusted her glasses. "To think you used to be the serious one here."

"The other coworkers are stiffer than a board. I needed people who could handle their alcohol."

Karin and Temari gave Konan a flat look.

Konan rolled her eyes "alright so I get a little crazy, big deal."

"You almost raped your boyfriend the last time you went home wasted." Temari snickered.

"I was horny. Sue me!"

"The last bar that was our spot almost did. For property damage or did you forget that?"

Konan gave Karin a nasty glare and the middle finger.

Temari felt the alcohol taking affected and she laughed. The three women stayed at the bar and continued to drink. They lost count of how many drinks but they knew it was a lot when the bartender refused to serve them anymore. They sat and laughed at nothing in particular. They ate all the free pretzels and fell off their chairs more than once.

By the end of the night all three ladies locked arms and tried to wobble out of the bar. Luckily Konan's boyfriend was on his way to pick them up. They tripped, swayed, and laughed hysterically as they waited for their ride.

While waiting Temari unhooked one of her arms and fumbled with her pockets. She cried out triumphantly when she grabbed her phone.

"What you doing?" Konan's speech was slurred.

"I'm gonna text that stupid boy." Temari grinned.

"Yea he's a boy not a man!" Karin threw up her arm and waved it dramatically.

"You should, you should tell him that's he a prick." Konan suggested.

"No, no tell him that he's pussy." Karin giggled

"Tell him he's a stupid pussy?" Temari asked.

Konan and Karin cheered loudly.

Temari began to write the message and then stopped. "What else should I say?"

"That you think he's a super cute super genius." Konan winked

"That's stupid," Karin gave Temari a sideways hug. "Tell him that you two should finally have sex. Hot, stupid, crazy sex!"

"We can't do that. He lives with his parents." Temari frowned.

"Stupid you have an apartment!"

"Ohhh ya." Temari looked back to her message and added more to it.

The three continued to create the message together until Konan's boyfriend arrived. He got the three drink women into the car and drove everyone home. He made sure that Temari and Karin got into their apartment safely before taking Konan home.

Temari fumbled around her apartment in the dark. In her drunken state she forgot that her apartment had lights. She bumped into walls and her bathroom door. She finally crawled into bed and was out like a light.

The next morning sun light was lighting up the bedroom. Temari groaned and flinched at the bright light. She didn't dare open her eyes. Her head was pounding and her breath smelled terrible. She felt like crap.

She turned her back to the light and tried to get some more sleep. She didn't rest for very long. Her eyes flew open when she realized that she had work. Her arm flew out from under the covers and searched for her phone. When she found it she quickly called her workplace and told them she couldn't stop throwing up.

She didn't explain anymore and hung up. Her phone landed on the blanket with a dull thud. Temari drew the cover over her head. What in the hell was she thinking? Drinking as though she was back in college when she should be acting like an adult. Temari blinked her tried eyes.

She eased them open. She remained under the covers until her stomach began to turn into knots. Holly hell the tequila was making itself known again. Temari swallowed back the nausea and took deep breaths. She was not in the mood to be vomiting.

She didn't know how long she lied in bed feeling like she was going to die. She spent her time trying not to throw up and light sleep. At some point she felt a gentle hand and voice coaxing her out of her cocoon.

Temari slowly lowered the cover and peaked out. Her eyes met a spiky ponytail.

"Go away," Temari murmured.

Shikamaru held out a glass of water and two pills. "This will make you feel better."

Temari stubbornly refused the treatment. Shikamaru sighed "do you want to stay in bed forever?"

"Yes."

"And die slowly from the inside?"

Pause.

Temari took the pills first before drinking the cool water. She didn't realize how thirsty she was until she drank the whole glass. Shikamaru took the empty glass and went to put it in the kitchen sink. Temari rubbed the gunk from her eyes with her palm. She still remained in bed but lowered the covers to her neck so she could properly see.

Shikamaru returned from the kitchen and sat next to the hung over woman. "How are you feeling?"

"Like a dump truck ran me over and then spit me out into the sewer."

Shikamaru chuckled "you went out on a weekday to drink."

"Shut up. I already feel like shit." Temari wanted nothing more than to hide under the covers for the rest of the day. Why was he here again? More importantly when did he get here?

"You really don't take care of yourself."

Temari had a pounding headache. One that felt like her skull would split in two. She did not need any more stress on her already squishy brain. She glared at him and repeated, "Go away."

"I was worried about you."

Here we go.

"I'm not in the mood." Temari groaned.

"Do you know what I found when I walked in earlier? Food left out. I'm surprised that rats didn't invade your place. That's not counting all the dishes and melted ice cream left out."

She was a damn adult. She didn't need to be scolded like a child. If that meant leaving a messy apartment then damn it she would!

"I didn't ask you to do anything for me." Temari wanted to yell, she really did. But she knew if she did then her brain would just about explode. She settled for giving him the dirtiest look she could muster.

Shikamaru frowned "you don't have to ask me."

Temari sighed heavily and all anger dissipated "please I'm really not in the mood."

Silence filled the room. Shikamaru turned his attention to the ground. He couldn't keep staring at her piercing gaze. "Do you need anything?"

"I'm ok thanks."

"Do you want anything?"

Temari was going to decline the offer but stopped. She didn't throw up so that was a plus. It was late in the day, hell what was the last thing she ate? The more she thought about it Temari liked the idea of food. No fast food that was too heavy for her delicate stomach. Maybe some soup. Ugh that required going to the store.

Temari pursed her lips. "Soup."

Shikamaru stood up, "I'll get you some."

"Hold it," Temari threw the warm covers off. "I also need air. I'll go with you."

"Are you sure? It won't take long."

Temari ignored his question and dragged her feet to the bathroom. She decided a quick shower was necessary. While she went on her business Shikamaru went to the living room and took a seat on her couch. He slouched and let out a tired sigh.

"I can do this."

He continued to wait until Temari was finished cleaning off the mess of her person from last night. She pulled her hair into a messy bun, clean jeans and white shirt, and found her sneakers. She walked out of her room and found her living room free of her mess.

"You actually cleaned my apartment?"

Shikamaru shrugged and stood up. "I figured you wouldn't want to deal with the mess while nursing a hangover."

Temari stared at him in utter shock. "You? The laziest man I know, cleaned my apartment? Without being told to?"

Shikamaru walked toward the door to hide his red face.

"Are we going or not? Come on we can take my car."

"Don't change the subject." Temari followed him with a tiny smirk on her lips.

"You're troublesome."

"You don't even pick up your room!"

"Just get in the car." Shikamaru flushed red.

Temari laughed at his embarrassment. The car ride to the store was filled with more teasing and sarcastic remarks from both parties. Arriving at the store the duo continued their witty banter as though nothing happened between them.

"And then he blamed Gaara, who was five at the time, for losing his favorite toy."

Shikamaru chuckled "you're evil."

"I didn't do anything wrong." Temari grabbed a basket and went hunting for soup. "I merely placed a broke toy in the garbage."

"A toy you broke."

"Kankuro still doesn't know that." Temari grinned.

"I'm sure your brothers paint a different picture."

"Of course they would. They can't be seen as weak compared to their only sister."

"You three are way too competitive."

Finding the soup Temari browsed and placed three cans in the basket. Shikamaru reached over and placed another can in.

"What are you doing?"

"You need more variety."

Temari rolled her eyes "if you wanted me to make it just say so."

Shikamaru hesitated "you'd make it?"

"You're already at my place and cleaned it. The way I see it I owe you."

"Then I would like turkey chili."

Temari gave him an annoyed look. "Do you think you're in a position to pick what we eat?"

Shikamaru pouted "please?"

"Fine you crybaby."

They continued to shop for the needed ingredients for their lunch. Once they had everything they went to the checkout line. While they waited they still bickered and insulted each other. They soon were interrupted by a loud cry of "hey Shikamaru!"

Temari and Shikamaru turned around and came face to face with Naruto and Kiba.

"Hey man! Surprise seeing you here," Naruto grinned

"What are you buying?" Kiba asked.

"Food what else?" Temari deadpanned.

Naruto and Kiba just took notice of Temari standing a bit behind their friend. Both gave out a girlish screech, scrambled back, and clung to each other.

"H-Hey T-Temari" Kiba stammered out.

"Please don't hit us!" Naruto cried out.

Nearby people gave them curious looks. Temari handed the basket to Shikamaru and faced the two cowering guys. "Are you guys still upset about the last time we met?"

"You threw us into a raging river!"

"I did not," Temari placed her hands on her hips. "It was a rope tied to a tree and we took turns swinging into the water."

"We weren't ready!"

"Suck it up you. I did you two cowards a favor."

"I almost drowned!" Naruto was on verge of tears.

"I recall your boyfriend Sasuke saving you."

"We're not gay! Not that there is anything wrong with that. I just mean that we don't swing that way. But I have no issues with gay people! I mean have you met Haku? He's-"

"Shut up you idiot! Can't you see she's ready to kill us?" Kiba slapped his hand over Naruto's loose lips.

Naruto cried and tried to defend himself behind Kiba's hand.

Shikamaru sighed and placed the food down to be charged. He didn't dare intervene. Temari was having a blast watching those two squirm. He gave the cashier an apologetic smile.

"Sorry about that. We'll be out of here shortly."

The older man didn't dare say anything. He quickly scanned and charged Shikamaru so that they could hurry up and leave the store. Shikamaru collected the bags and gently tapped Temari on the shoulder.

"Hey all set?"

Temari decided to give Kiba and Naruto one finally scare.

"You know I still don't understand how their girlfriends can stand them. I mean if you were this much of a coward I wouldn't be your girlfriend for more than a day."

Kiba and Naruto were confused at first until they realized what Temari was implying. They both collapsed onto the floor. They didn't care that they were in a store with people staring. Their friend Shikamaru was dating this psychotic chick. She was going to torture them forever!

Shikamaru gaped at Temari. Temari threw her head back and laughed heartily. She grabbed the stunned Shikamaru's hand and walked out the store. Shikamaru regain his senses and felt his face burn.

"W-What was that?"

"Do you still want to pretend?"

"No."

"Then don't think too hard about this."

"I still don't understand."

They reached his car and stopped walking. Temari continued to hold his hand and looked into his eyes. "Look I know you like me and I find you attractive as well."

Shikamaru grinned.

Temari continued her little speech. "You're parents are amazing and my brothers find you amusing. You cleaned up my apartment when I kicked you out. I'm now going to make you food."

"This wouldn't have anything to do with the message you sent me last night, right?"

Temari fought her own blush. "I was intoxicated. Nothing on that message should be taken seriously."

Shikamaru smirked "I don't know it was pretty specific."

"I can easily go back to ignoring you."

"Will you and your brothers like to spend Christmas with us?"

"Depends did you really almost buy me a puppy?" Temari teased.

"Who told you that?" Shikamaru stammered out.

Temari smiled and laughed. She had her answer. "We would love too."

 **Here you guys go! It took me longer than expected but I'm on break and therefore much lazier than usual. Hope you enjoyed it and don't forget to leave a review!**


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